


Falling Apart And Landing Together

by Crumbles_Of_Reality



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorder, BUT STEVE TAKES A WHILE TO BE INTRODUCED, Depression, Drug Addiction, F/F, F/M, HES THERE THOUGH, Heavy Angst, I love Tony Stark and his problems, I swear, I'll try to update at least once a week, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, SO STONY, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicide Attempt, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony deals with his feelings and there is a happy ending, Tony from a child to an adult, a tony life story, as we go, because this is long, i will be adding more tags, it is MAINLY STEVE X TONY, there is a lot of negativity in this fic, this is definitely going to be pretty long, young tony has a stammer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-16
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-08-31 09:34:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8573233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crumbles_Of_Reality/pseuds/Crumbles_Of_Reality
Summary: Tony didn’t know why, but since the day he was born he could see it. The Matrix. Don’t ask him how, he wouldn’t be able to tell you, but the green code running in front of his eyes never slowed down, or stopped. It was an endless, patternless thing at first, but as he grew older he learned to control it. -THIS FIC IS INSPIRED BY THE MATRIX, BUT THERE ARE NO CHARACTERS FROM THE MOVIE IN THERE.-





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first chapter of many, but it's pretty short, sorry.

Tony didn’t know why, but since the day he was born he could see it. The Matrix. Don’t ask him how, he wouldn’t be able to tell you, but the green code running in front of his eyes never slowed down, or stopped. It was an endless, patternless thing at first, but as he grew older he learned to control it. 

 

So as a six year old, Tony was still pretty clueless. He fumbled with his schoolwork, knowing all of it, but… everything was so distracting, and distant. His paper seemed thousands of miles away, yet his hand was scrawling down answers faster than he knew he knew them. 

 

The thing is, right now he’s taking an IQ test. And most of it is patterns, which are easy when the only thing you’ve seen for six years of your life is coding. Except for a few, that is. Tony learns that the people who are covered completely by coding are bad. They are fake, mean, rude. The people whose coding is dimmed are real. They are people like his mom, his nannies, and mostly everyone he sees. 

 

And then one day, he meets Jarvis. While his father’s coding had been more dimmed than most, Jarvis’ was nonexistent. He walked and talked and smiled the same as everyone else… but, Tony could see him. It was incredible to him, the colors and actions that seemed entirely natural, when before they had all been strict and under patterns. While he was amazed by it, he was also… scared. Everything had a comforting shade of green (even though that was his least favorite color) and suddenly here was this bright man coming along with _no_ green whatsoever. Yeah, it was a little disconcerting. Well, when his father had first introduced him Tony had yelped and hid behind Maria’s skirts, earning a kind smile from the man. Later when Jarvis asked him what scared him so, he just shook his head softly. 

 

But yes, back to the IQ test. Six year old Tony flew through it, seeing the patterns -and, more commonly, just the answers- and writing them down. When he was done he handed it out to the doctor, who looked amazed. The thing was, this doctor was fake, the coding below him was bright green, and it was just saying “Act surprised. Who is he? What is he? How? Who? What? Act surprised. Who is he…” and so on. Tony scowled at the doctor, and pushed his chair out, walking out of the room into the waiting room, sitting quietly next to Jarvis. 

 

“Hey Jarvis?” He whispers quietly, because the coding for camera’s are in the walls, and they might have audio (he doesn’t know how to read that much yet). 

 

“Yes, young Sir?” The blonde caretaker gives him his full attention, a small smile on his face. Tony looks around nervously, for no apparent reason, and says,

 

“Can you see the green?”

 

Tony doesn’t remember this, it didn’t seem an important conversation to keep. He does know that he told Jarvis at some point what he could see, all the green codes, but he doesn’t recall how Jarvis’ eyes widen, or how his mouth parts slightly in excitement. How he takes Tony to the car with a skip in his step- or how much more protective he is of the little boy from then on. 

 

Barely a week had passed before they returned to the doctor once more during his lunchtime, and he was told he had a spectacularly high IQ for someone his age, or for someone fourteen. Well, really, Tony couldn’t be surprised. The codes had told him about it before the doctor had. He beamed up to his father, hoping beyond hopes that maybe _this time_ he would be rewarded. 

 

“Good job, son.” A hand came down and mussed his hair, and then his father was gone, faded green lines traipsing out of sight. Tony looked down sadly, then walked away too, not bothering to finish his lunch. 

 

The next day Tony was patted awake lightly, when the time was still too early to be pleasant. The numbers swam before his eyes, out of control until he blinked. Then it was uniform, all in order and perfect and… dull. He sat up, yawning and covering his mouth. Then Tony hears the thud of luggage against the floor, and his eyes shoot open. 

 

“J- Jarvis?” His tiny voice nearly echoed around his bare room. (Because, you know, a young man shouldn’t have such childish accessories, as Howard says.) The butler-caretaker smiles sadly, and says softly,

 

“Young sir, you’ve been assigned to a prestigious boarding school. Your level of intelligence has not gone without notice, you are to begin as soon as possible.” Jarvis sounds prompt, clean, and Tony has no way of telling if there is sadness behind those words -although he likes to imagine there was- because of the man’s lack in coding. 

 

Tony is not ashamed to say he cried. Well, not ashamed to say it to anyone but his father. His father would have given him that condescending look while the faint lines on him said “Disappointed, Grow Up,” and so on. He was boarded onto a private jet, unable to say goodbye to even his mother before he was carted away to his new school. Fear and anxiety bubbled up inside his little chest, and he sobbed until he fell asleep, listening to the rumble of the engines.

 

When he woke up he was being tugged to a car, sleep making his surroundings a hazy, blurred green. A cold breeze ran across his arms, and he shivered in the person’s tight grip. They shushed him and then someone else put a fuzzy blanket over him, and he fell back into slumber. 

 

The murmuring of voices snapped him back to reality, but Tony pretended to sleep all the while, because that would be the most logical thing to do if you wanted to figure out what was going on. They were purposefully hushed, probably because they thought he was still asleep, and Tony could only catch snatches of “So little… you sure? Alright…… tomorrow….. Rest.” And then they walked off. He sat up groggily, looking around with interest. 

 

He was on the bottom of a bunk bed, with plain looking sheets, but a regal frame. The walls were ornamented lightly, and the light was embedded in the ceiling. There was soft, plush carpet beneath his feet, so he didn’t really feel the need to complain. Tony could see that his meager luggage was already packed into one of the two dressers; his bags were under the bed. The only problem was with the fact that it was a bunk bed, meaning another _person_. And that would be awful, especially for someone like Tony. 

 

Now that he thought about it, there was a slight shuffling in the bed above him, and the sound of quiet breathing. He startled, but relaxed once he realized whoever was in the bunk above was asleep. Soft brown hair poked out from the covers, and his - it was definitely a boy - frame was small, yet strong. Tony hung from the top bed and poked him repeatedly, with a shy smile plastered on his face and his eyes wide. 

 

The boy stirred, and turned over with startling speed, looking directly into Tony’s eyes. Tony yelped and fell back, landing on the carpet. The boy laughed, fixing Tony with his calculating blue-eyed stare. It was then Tony realized that this boy had no coding, just like Jarvis. He brightened and scrambled up from the floor. 

 

“My name is Tony S-Stark.” He says confidently, mentally hitting himself for stuttering, and clenching his fists in agitation. He held out his hand then, shyly. 

 

“Tiberius Stone.” The kid says, sliding out of bed and dropping down in front of Tony to shake his hand. His eyes are not only blue, but icy and almost cold, but at the same time inviting and warm. It was impossible for Tony to read them without coding. This was a kid who knew how to hide his emotions. Tony liked that, and he wanted to be like that, so immediately he aimed to become the kid’s friend.

 

“H-how long have you been here?” Tony asked curiously. The boy shrugged, which told him that he too only got here today. Then Tiberius yawned and shook his head slightly. 

 

“Wanna go explore? My dad sent me here ‘cuz I’m super smart, what about you?” He looked at Tony with a near smug expression on his face, as if he believed he was the smartest. (Tony might have known this, but the stupid absent green code didn’t help him whatsoever.) 

 

“Uh, sure. M-my doctor said I had to g-go here because I was too smart to start in school for normal k-kids my age.” He blushed at his stuttering, but when his stomach was fluttery he couldn’t help it. 

 

“Great!” Tiberius grabbed his arm and tugged him to the door, then opened the wood -mahogany, the coding told him- and led him into a hallway, where the same plush carpet decorated the floor and numbered doors led to the of it. Tony gulped, looking around nervously to see if there was anyone to reprimand him. The boy laughed at his scared face and looked around curiously. “Which door first?” He whispered, suddenly all quiet. Tony looked at him as if he had grown a second head, wondering why on earth he was so spontaneous. 

 

“T-this one?” Tony pointed to the nearest door to them, and Tiberius nodded, then walked slowly up to it, Tony’s wrist still attached to his hand. The boy glanced down the hallway (he couldn’t glance up it, they were apparently at the very end of it) and then to the door, before finally opening the door knob smoothly. The door slid open soundlessly, and the room itself was dark, but they could see it was near identical to theirs. Tib- no, that was too annoying, Ty sighed boredly, making Tony fidget and try to pull his hand out of his grasp. 

 

“T-Ty, couldn’t you- couldn’t you let go o-of my hand?” Tony asked nervously, his tongue stiffening as he tried to produce words. Ty nodded and smiled.

 

“Ty, I like that. Better than Tiberius,” he states, and lets go of Tony’s hand as quickly as he’d held it. The lack of it sent cold running to Tony’s palm, and he almost wished he hadn’t said anything. Then he shook himself and looked around the hall, trying to notice anything interesting. Suddenly low, carpeted footsteps came from around the end of the hallway, and Tony looked at Ty in alarm. Tiberius began to run back to their room, and Tony followed at identical speed, before closing the door as quietly as they had opened it. 

 

The person entered the hall, and then a soft clinking of metal -keys, they must have been- could be heard. Then the opening of a door, and then….. Silence. 

 

It was so quiet Tony wanted to yell to break it, but instead he breathed out slowly, looking at Ty and nodding. It occurred to him that the fact he could communicate with Ty so easily without the code and while barely knowing him was incredible, but he pushed it from his mind and once again opened the door. 

 

The green lines of coding running through the walls gave way to the soft crimson of the wallpaper as Tony trailed his hand against it. He walked down the hallway soundlessly, stopping at the door he knew was the one the person had gone into (the handle was smudged more than any of the others) and pointed to it, waiting for Ty to catch up.

 

“This was the door?” The boy whispered quietly next to him, and Tony nodded, then slowly tried the handle. It held stubbornly, and Tony sighed, ready to turn away, but Ty was grinning, and he held out a pin. “Watch this,” he smiled, then stuck it into the hole for the key. A minute or two later, a soft _click_ rung out, and the door slid open. Tony gaped at it, then at Ty.

“I’ll teach you how to later, for now, let’s check this out!”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Ty go exploring around the room they opened..... something strange happens, and they meet someone new, who you might just recognize ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy it!

The door had turned out to lead to a library. Just the sight of all the books excited Tony, and his breathed quickened ever so slightly. The titles swam in the air in a haze of knowledge and green, and he couldn’t wait to read everything he could get his hands on. But then he remembered Ty next to him, and frowned. 

“D- do you like to read?” He asked nervously. He didn’t want to lose the only friend he had here already, that would be terrible, and only further proof that no one liked him. (He had deduced that sometime in his sleep, it was fairly evident. The books around him smelt of dust and mildew, the perfect combination of old and undiscovered that Tony was dying to look into. 

Thankfully, Ty nodded, his eyes bright. Tony sighed in relief, then realized how out in the open they were. He looked around slowly and pointed to an aisle that led them off into the library, and remembered that the entire point of literally breaking and entering into the room was to find out what the mysterious man had been doing. Shakily, Tony took a breath and walked forward, listening closely for any signs of movement other than Ty. 

 

Soon he heard the rumble of other voices, and crept closer towards it; peeking around the corner of a bookshelf he saw the owners of the voices, one heavily-green coded man and a woman who was completely absent of said green. The way they were talking sounded like it wasn’t a good idea for Ty and Tony to make themselves known, so Tony crept away, expecting Ty to follow. The mutterings of ‘students coming in two days from now’ and ‘time enough, damni-’ were enough to make Tony nervous. Perhaps the couple was married? That would explain why they were fighting, or at least it would to Tony. 

Just because there were others in library didn’t mean Tony was going to give up a chance to explore like this, and given the waves of excitement Ty was giving off next to him, he wasn’t either. Tony looked for a place to start, taking hints from the coding on where would most interest him. He took a step forward, and glanced upward, and it dawned on him how big this school must really be. He didn’t really understand were he had been sent at the time, but with his father’s money and his apparent genius intellect, this was probably high standard and expensive. How many other kids would be attending here? Speaking of kids, where were all the kids?

 

_Oh, right,_ his brain chided him for not paying attention to the adult’s conversation, they were to arrive in two days. Ty and him must have been dropped off early because… well, Tony didn’t know why Ty was here early, but even at six he knew the reason he was here early was because no one wanted to spend time with him, and they were too busy with more important things, like running a multi-billion dollar company. 

 

He felt a pang in his chest, and pushed it away to the corners of his mind before taking a well conceived staircase up to the next level of the building. There had to be a hidden corner somewhere, after all there were four each level and the library was accumulated of three floors, topped off with a glass dome-like ceiling. Despite their searchings, all the shelves were in neat, infuriatingly tidy rows, making it impossible to find a place to hide away and read a book. Eventually Tony had to settle for a spot on the third floor (it would be most isolated, no one cares that much to go out of their way looking for a _book_ ), because the shelves changed patterns halfway and created a block that was impossible to get to without pushing books out of the way and climbing haphazardly through. 

 

There was no corner box, but the shelves around him served well enough, so he sucked it up and called quietly to Ty, who had also been searching for the perfect reading nook. A soft patter of footsteps could be heard, and then,

“Where are you?”

 

“H- I’m in h-here.” 

 

Tony climbed out and led Ty through, and smiled nervously, spreading his arms wide as if to say, ‘here it is’ and then looked around for a book. The search was soon interrupted by Ty motioning to him, and Tony followed his gaze to the top of the shelf. There it was, the book that would entertain them both. Tony just _knew_ it. 

 

It didn’t actually have a title, and there seemed to be a lack of coding about it. The leather cover was a cracked, old blue, and weathered gold engravings painted a pretty pattern on the outer spine of it. Unfortunately, it was virtually impossible to reach without going to a great deal of trouble to get it. 

_Fortunately_ , Tony was all too willing to go to those lengths to acquire his reading material. And Ty seemed to be just as excited about it, because he was already scoping out a way to get it. Judging by the sturdiness of the shelves, Tony _probably_ would be able to climb up to get it. But the other brunette maybe not so much, as he was taller and probably weighed a bit more. 

Taking into mind the part where he had thought ‘probably’, Tony began his climb. Getting a firm hold on the smooth (yet dusty) shelf was one thing, getting one while climbing was a whole other level. Literally and metaphorically. Everything about it was taxing, and Tony was just about to reach for it, _so close_ , and-

 

And it was gone. Like it had never existed, three smaller books filling in the space it had been in. Tony had an uneasy feeling run through him, like something was wrong, and _Where was that book?_ but his brain was saying _No, silly, there obviously wasn’t any book, you were just…_ It seemed to trail off at this point, but he had hung there for long enough, and Ty was saying, “Come on, Tony, grab them!” So he grabbed the three small books with one hand (nearly falling with the task of it) and climbed down using only one hand, his arm burning. 

 

Tony looked at the three books in his hand with detachment. They were bland, and more than very dull, so he couldn’t see why Ty or he’d ever want to read them. Their titles were generic, and something in the very back of his mind was niggling _There_ was _no title, though..._ and he grimaced as best as a six year old could when highly confused. 

 

Ty grabbed the three books with excitement and looked at them, then furrowed his brows as if expecting something different, but not knowing why. Tony looked at him incredulously, but decided not to say anything if he wasn’t going to, and began once more his search for an interesting piece of literature. 

 

He finally settled for a red book with black tree designs called _Grimm’s Complete Fairy Tales_ , thinking that anything with such a sinister cover might be able to give him a different reason for his discomfort. The book did not disappoint, but the layer of dust on his fingers on a few pages in was enough to set it down in distaste. 

“Ty?”

“Yeah Tony?” 

“Do you thin-think we could ask for a f-f-feather-duster of sorts t-to clean this p-place up?” 

Ty nodded and got up, as if he had been thinking the same idea from the way he put down his book all too quickly. Tony smiled, thinking that as long as he had a friend to get through this strange place, he might be ok. Following Ty out of the nook, he snuck behind him all the way to the entrance of the library that they had broken into. They were about to open it when the sharp click of high-heels came from the meeting-area the two grownups were having. 

A lady with greying hair, no coding, and a hard-set face walking around a corner, and Tony nearly yelped in fear. _Oh, they were going to get in so much trouble…_  
She stopped as she realised that there were two little boys in the area with her, and frowned before seemingly understanding who they were and that they had just been the early-arrivers (or at least, in Tony’s case.) 

 

“What are you two boys doing, sneaking around here like this? How did you get in? No, don’t answer that,” she winked, before continuing, “you better follow me, it’s around lunch-time, wouldn’t you say?” Tony nodded, his face pale, and swallowed, but Ty walked right up to her and said,  
“Who are you?”

 

She chuckled and muttered something sadly before leaning down to Ty’s height and saying, “Well, I’m Peggy Carter, but you must call me Ms. Carter, ok? Because I’m a teacher here, of course. And you must be the newbies, Tony Stark and Tiberius Stone. How have you two been liking it here?”   
She walked right up to them, and Tony smiled shyly at her, willing to let Ty do all the talking (which he was doing very readily, no hesitation on his mind whatsoever). Ms. Carter smelled like strawberries and snow (if snow had a smell, that would be it) and everything about her seemed sweet and kind and then intense and in charge, all at the same time. 

 

Tony took to her like a match does to flame. 

 

To elaborate more, (because Tony took a liking to anyone who did the same to him) she was brilliant. Her smile lit up the room, and her frowns put everyone on edge. Ms. Carter’s eyes seemed to be made of steel, or iron, strong and forceful but so pliant when she warms up to you. Like Tony, who she apparently adored. (He was _not_ cute, no matter what she said.) Ty would always stick out his tongue at her when she had her back turned, but Tony would give him a confused look and the boy would shut his mouth. 

Ms. Carter helped him get through his first day (well, him and Ty) and then, at night, she declared it was time for bed. Tony swallowed roughly and nervously, unsure of how he was going to sleep when his mind felt so _alive_. Ms. Carter assured him he would manage just fine, and that it was just adrenaline- Tony had to look that word up later. 

 

Then Ms. Carter stood by their door as Ty clambered onto his bunk and Tony slipped into his. Immediately he shifted onto his left side (because that was the best side to sleep on) and presumed sleeping position, his eyes closed loosely and mouth parted slightly. He had a lot of practice, because sometimes when his father would stumble in drunkenly, Howard would lose his veracity if he believed Tony was-

 

Tony clenched his eyes shut, ruining his act, and the thought that he couldn’t even sleep correctly upset him so much he nearly cried. (Didn’t, though, he was a big boy.) His eyelids still appeared to be pink, so he opened his eyes, wondering why the light was still on. 

 

Once they adjusted to the light Tony saw that Ms. Carter was still there, but had now moved to a chair and had taken out an old book. “Wha- What are you d-d-doing? Aren’t we going to- to bed?” Tony mumbled into his pillow, forehead creased. The teacher looked at him with something he couldn’t place, then explained,

 

“I’m going to read you boys a story. Lord knows all children need a story before bed, doesn’t your father ever tell you one?” 

 

Tony shook his head sadly, but then remembered all the times he’d gone to help his father in the labs, when Howard wasn’t too busy. “S-Sometimes, when I get to work wi- wi- with my dad in the workshop, h-he’ll tell me stories about this g-great guy, C- Captain America! He’s s-s-so cool, and still alive t-today!” Tony looked at her happily. Ms. Carter had an unreadable look on her face, but before she could say anything, a voice from the top bunk spoke out;

 

“Don’t be dumb, Tony. Captain America died in a plane crash into the ocean. Even if he hadn’t drowned, that was years ago, so he’d be dead by now. That’s just a story for babies. You aren’t a baby, are you?” 

The taunt in his voice was so clear that with a sudden burst of anger Tony nearly yelled, “No! Captain America is alive because he is amazing and way better than you’ll ever be, Ty!” His breath hitched, and he breathed fast, then realized that he hadn’t stammered at all in that sentence with a fleeting triumph (before he realized _what_ exactly he’d said.)

 

Ms. Carter looked a little pale, and was glancing between the two nervously. A flurry of thought ran through Tony, and he said, with a stroke of genius,

 

“Ms. Carter, do you think you could read us that story?” 

 

She sighed in relief of the ebbing tension, and nodded.

“A long, long time ago, there was a woman who wanted to fight in the war……”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please live a Kudos, Bookmark it if you want to hear about my (hopefully) weekly updates, and leave any comments or suggestions for what should happen next! (I have a vague plot line, but it can always be tweaked with constructive criticism!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it, please leave a Kudos and a comment if you did! :)


End file.
